Ep 170 | Pace Girls: Bringing back their spark!

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Sometimes they're like, why are you smiling all the time? You know what? They don't understand people accepting them without judgment and with unconditional positive regard. That doesn't mean they don't have to be held accountable for their choices. And I don't mean that through consequences, they need to be able to understand the context of the decision that they made. But never is there a judgment on their personhood.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Welcome to the Voices United in Education podcast. Each week, we showcase the teachers, administrators, and community members who go the extra mile to contribute to the success of every child in Escambia County. You'll meet the real people behind the titles and learn about the amazing resources to support your child's success. Congratulations, it's a girl. There are many reasons that we celebrate new birth. To look at that precious little one and see fresh, unlimited potential is not only heartwarming, but also important for communities as they evolve and have needs for new perspectives, talents, and ideas. But for some girls in Escambia County, that hope ends early. My next guest has been the executive director at the Pace Center for Girls for 20 years and says that many of the girls have given up by age 13. Today she's going to share how this holistic program for girls aged 11 to 18 is bringing back their spark and adding value to the Pensacola community, elevating agency and academics, building hope and awakening potential. Lori Rogers. Thanks for being here. Thank you for inviting me. I find you as a very people-first person. So I think that just makes sense that we should start there. So tell me about the girls. How do they get to the Pace Center for Girls? How do they find you?

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Initially, most of our referrals came from the Oscambia County School District or the Department of Juvenile Justice. When I first started 30 years ago, 85 to 90% of the girls had an arrest record. They were already involved with juvenile justice. And the Department of Juvenile Justice is our largest funder. We're under contract with them, and we're also under contract with the Scambia County School District. And in all of our other cities that we are located, DJJ is the main funder. And then we get the separate funding from each of our school districts. But because we're funded by them, they were our two main sources. Over time, word of mouth seems to be the most frequent way that girls are introduced to what we have to offer. I jinxed us about 15 years ago. I said, we've never served one of our girls' daughters. That is a testimony in itself. Isn't that beautiful? And then we get a call that, hey, my daughter needs your services. And we've now served all kinds of girls. My aunt referred me. My sister went here. My mom went here.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

This is so interesting to me because I think there is a temptation for the community to see the pace center for girls as like the bad kids' school. But that is not how the community who's referring people to you sees it.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Again, I think that impression of the pace girl has also morphed over time. A lot of times the girls, well, their risk factors contribute to behavioral problems and then problems in school. And in the past, they were expelled for fighting petty theft. And so they were labeled bad, but we've really tried to move that perception to one of a girl that is wanting to make a positive change in her life and someone who is willing to make an investment and turn her life around as opposed to be bad. Plus, we really work hard to help the girls unown the labels that have been placed on them from the decisions that they made. And you think about it, you're 13 years old and you're trying to form your identity. And I don't think there's too many people I know who are women who got through that time period without questioning who they were and were they good enough and what their future holds. And then you add all of the other, what I would just at this point call yuck to their lives. And then they make unhealthy and unsafe decisions. And, you know, you wind up, they wind up in the detention center. So their impression of themselves is often based on the impression that other people have of them. And you know, that's a pretty standard thing. I am what you think I am. And so they go ahead and adopt as they're trying to figure out who they are, this mindset that they're this is who they are.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

They're criminals, or they're bad people, or they can't trust themselves, or so that is a huge undertaking for anyone of any age, that identity recalibration. How do you manage to get that back on track for a girl in such a tender age?

SPEAKER_00 5:55

I think this is why pace is so valuable because we're unique in that we provide a physically, emotionally, psychologically safe environment where people who put them first listen to their story and their perceptions and believe them and provide them opportunities to make good decisions and then make sure they recognize that the outcome of those decisions were based in their choice, no one made them do it. For every girl, it happens at a different uh time frame. You really can't tell, but making them feel special, important, valued, glad to have them in our presence, building those relationships. If this person that I don't know spends the time to really get to know me, and all these other people say my name and they know my story and they work with me from where I'm at, maybe I'm okay. Maybe I'm worth trying this next thing and see what happens. And then as it unfolded in a negative way, it can rewind. It doesn't happen overnight, but one little, you know, they didn't go from kindergarten to petty theft without stuff happening in between. It's one little step at a time to rewind years ago, gosh, probably 15, but the little things that girls have said throughout the years have always stuck with me. But I was sitting in my office and a girl came in and told me that she just got an A on her test and she was beaming. And I said, How did you do that? Because they want to say Miss So-and-so. And and I'm like, No, what did you do to make that happen? And so she kept talking and she looked at me with this big smile and she said, I like me now. And I thought, all right, I can go home for today, because that one. Yeah, I like me now. Like, how often, even as centered adults, can we look ourselves in the mirror and say, I like me? And even if it was for that moment, that day, yeah. Okay, she got a gift.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

I really don't think most adults have a moment where they go, you know what? I like me. I mean, I'm just thinking that's not happening. You know, so it sounds like there are some that do, but well, maybe some in their own mind. Yeah, yeah. Some people should do it less and not just take it. But like when you think about life as a busy parent, let's say, like it's just chaos, noise all the time. You feel behind constantly and overstimulated and uneasy in your own body as you get older, you can just barely hear your own thoughts in the midst of that chaos of middle America middle class life. So I'm imagining at this moment being in the middle of what you're calling yuck chaos and looking myself in the mirror and going, you know what? I'm pretty awesome. Nope. I'm not there. Like that is incredible. I hope that girl's doing amazing things.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

I don't keep up with a lot of them. They reach out. This particular girl, I have seen her in person for lunch over the years. She's 44. That's just really hard for me to say. But I hear the stories about, you know, they'll call, they come by. Adults, they bring their children in, or I see them at a doctor's office. They check me in for an appointment for they're everywhere. But for me, there's like three or four thousand of them.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

So my goodness, that's incredible. So, who is this program not for? Because it sounds like there's a wide scope of referrals from the Department of Juvenile Justice and the school district, and you've got some moms and some maybe older sisters and aunties sending people your way. What qualifies a girl to be able to go to pace?

SPEAKER_00 10:25

I gotta answer your first question because who is it not for is no one. If I ruled the educational world, I would take every convenience store and turn it into a little red schoolhouse where there were caring people to give children the love and individualized attention that they need. I think about pace sometimes as that little red schoolhouse because I mean the girls will describe it as their family or more like their family than their family. And I know this is a side note, but in today's world, kids need more of that than less. They don't need to be in a school with thousands. Some kids can thrive in that environment, but given the way we live, like you're talking about being a mom, there's so many pressures, I think, just in society, to hit the mark or do the things and sometimes children don't make it to the the top of that list. And I'm not pointing fingers at parents. I'm saying they're they're doing the best they can. But because our main funder is the Department of Juvenile Justice, um, they want us to select girls who fit their idea of, and I don't love the word at risk. I think you even said it more of at promise, but those girls are experiencing the most significant issues in their lives that would cause them to not be able to even finish school, much less achieve self-sufficiency, independence. And besides their life's goals and dreams. I want to be this one day. I think that kind of starts way back in kindergarten, you know, and then little by little for most of our girls, that starts to fade away. So they want us to have girls that have family issues, victimization, health issues, school, and behavior. I'm not, again, pointing fingers at families. I think the families of the girls that we serve are doing the best they can. But again, sometimes they fall through the cracks, but there's a lot of family conflict, instability, parental incarceration, parent substance abuse. Even we have quite a few girls who've lost a parent through substance abuse mainly. And then the victimization, it's often by the hand of someone they know. And that isn't just sexual abuse and it's physical abuse and neglect. Emotional abuse is a real thing, but that's not always definable.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

But it matters a lot when you are talking about your sense of self in the world. Because when you told me in our pre-chat that the young girls that they kind of have given up by 12 or 13, I was just like, well, I mean, that has stuck with me since you said it because that's the point where you're starting to see yourself as part of the world. And what will I do with that? Right. And so to already have discounted your life trajectory from the world. I mean, I don't know if people know how harmful that is to a human, but also to a community. And that's what I think is important that the work that you're doing is so valuable and precious because it matters not just to the individual young women that you are talking to and supporting, but also to that the community that is and the community that will be, the families that they create, the friends that they create. Absolutely. Because that's, you know, we tend to think of community as an abstract, but it's not. It's filled with a bunch of us. Yeah.

unknown 14:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

And we need to be okay. Yeah. And I would like to respond to that. I do want to let you know that a large part, well, 100% of the girls have hit the family issue. And as a result of the things that have happened, we have either trauma-induced mental health or in some cases a chemical or both. But probably about 30% of the girls have either thought of or have attempted to end their lives when you're talking about giving. That's the very end of giving up, is attempting suicide. And it is difficult to bring them back from that. But it's no wonder that there are serious behavior problems in school, absenteeism, and school failure. If you're not getting your basic needs met and you don't feel safe, you're not gonna be like, oh, I've got a geometry test. Let me go study, you know? It doesn't matter. No. Or they'll skip. Or and then you can look at some girls' records and see even like back in third grade when we're really learning how to read the three or four different schools or multiple absences. And you're like, yeah, I don't think she was skipping school.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

So there may be some literacy stuff there as a result.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Well, the majority of our girls are a couple of years behind their peers. We test them when they first come in on reading and math. I think this is one of the greatest advantages when we're talking about the academic component, because this is a holistic program. And I think some people think, you know, we're just a school. But we're talking about the academic component. We look at where they are and we use those assessments to build an individual plan to fill in those gaps. So if she comes in and she's a ninth grader, but she's reading on a fifth grade level, there's no amount of us throwing ninth grade reading material at her that's going to result in success. So as we're helping her through that, we're making sure that we're providing her the resources she needs to build those skills. The team is phenomenal. And they take this information and then they project it out by our academic coordinator to the other teachers, including resources, so that there's like a ribbon that's woven through their academic services with everyone understanding where they are and what they need. So we have off the tops as we're talking, we have what we call care review. It's like case review that you would hear about in a medical setting, but we call it care review. And everybody comes to the table, and each girl has an academic advisor who oversees her academics, and each girl is a counselor who oversees all the social services parts of her care. And everyone shares what's happening. We take a look at the plan that we established when she first came in and evaluate if that's working. This is one of the, to me, the greatest things about being at pace. It is not cookie cutter. There's a model that we follow, there are services we provide. But even if every girl's story is similar or she's had some of the same things happen to her, they're not widgets, they're human beings. And for this girl, this one, we might need to zig, and for that one, we might need to zag, but we're still trying to get to this end result. And I think that having everyone on the same page with her, having everyone understand where she's coming from, have everyone know how to respond to whatever behaviors may manifest from her trauma or her experiences is critical. So often in a school setting, I haven't been in a public school setting in a long time, but behaviors often looked at as there's something wrong with this kid. What is wrong with you? But we use a lens of what's happened to you. And so because they've adapted these maladaptive behaviors or behaviors that have caused them to have conflict with authority or peers, we have to sit patiently and talk through their choice. What was the outcome of that choice? What did you want to happen? And what could you do to get that thing to happen? Now go give that a try. And when it works, we're gonna celebrate it. That's amazing. It doesn't happen in one go.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I mean, what you're describing is a reorientation back into personhood. And we're talking about agency.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

I say in so many situations, we're not rehabilitating. In some situations, we are habilitating because no one ever really taught me when I get frustrated that I have options. I'm not applying this to every girl because I wouldn't want anybody who's attending pace or husband at PACE, whose family is involved with pace, saying I'm putting a blanket on the fact that all the girls are angry. In fact, I call them, this is my thing, I call them actor inners or actor outers. So you got the girls who internalize everything, and they they're the ones that cut, they're promiscuous, they substance abuse, they turn in, they are overly emotional, and then you got the ones that project that and they act out. So they're the ones that will cuss you out, they will use their fist or chairs or you know, whatever's around them. And saying that, because I think this is really unusual in a situation like ours, we have a no-fight policy, and it actually works because they know up front this is a safe place. It's safe for you and it's safe for everyone else. If you've been a fighter in the past, we're gonna put some barriers in place for when you let's make sure we're registering when we get to that hot zone so that you go run to your safe person and you talk this through. Yes, we've had fights. I won't knock on wood because I think it might really disturb the recording, but one a year, maybe two. And in those cases, I've had a girl in my office after a fight, and we called her mom, and she's crying in the phone and said, I just Lost my place here. And it's heartbreaking and it sounds cruel, but that's the only reason we would ask a girl to leave because it is essential that they feel safe.

unknown 22:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Because without that, Maslow's hierarchy of baseline safety, you can't go up. Yeah, you can't. So are the girls, forgive me, because this may be overly simplistic question, but just from someone who's not at all familiar with the center, do they live there or do they just attend classes there? They do not live there.

unknown 22:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

And do they attend classes there in lieu of their mainstream school or do they go back and forth? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

You know, I'm so glad you asked that question because I make so many assumptions about what people understand about pace. We have a regular bell schedule. They go from class to class throughout the day. On the surface, it seems like, you know, kind of a simple thing, but it's like spinning plates. There's so many things happening at the same time because we're not just making sure they get their education. While they're getting their education, they're pulled out for group counseling, or they may be pulled out for individual counseling. I gotta give a shout out to Valerie's house because when Krista and I first met, she's the executive director. I said, I don't think we can get our girls over to the sessions. And so they worked it out. And the therapist, the staff from Valerie's House come and work with the girls. So they may go for uh grief counseling if they have perfect attendance or if they have Abiana role or they advance through a level, they'll be pulled out to do a craft. They may go and do a yoga group. That's the thing that I was gonna say earlier is there's not a lot of limits. I think the only limits that we can put on the interventions that we use with them are just those we haven't thought of yet. And you have the freedom at pace to get creative and really think deep about what would work for her. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

I love that it's amazing so much. And you know, I love that you talked in the beginning about really what you were implying is parents shouldn't have to parent alone. And sometimes we have this cascade effect of bad decisions being generationally handed down. And we could do a lot less with these hand-me-down traumas, right? Because they don't serve anyone. They don't serve the people, they don't serve the community. And so they need someone who is, you know, like fresh feet in soccer. We'd always say, okay, we need fresh feet. So your team are the fresh feet that these girls need in order to ask the question what's gonna work for her? And that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

You're speaking about parents. So what we do in regard to family involvement is we don't call them every time something happens, like in the public school, like uh, I'm gonna tell your mother about blah, blah. Okay, they don't want to hear it. That's not gonna help. It didn't help before. All of the things that have been done in the past, all the suspensions, all the spankings, all the restrictions, all the taking the phone, whatever it was, it didn't work. So why would we dump that? We are gonna try to give this parent a respite or this grandma or this uncle, but we're gonna meet with them once a month because we're gonna make sure that we tell them about the progress that she's making. In some cases, the changes that take place with that girl, when you're talking about cyclic, actually impact the rest of her family. When she changes, she can be a catalyst for change, not only in her future, but with the people that she's with right now.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

And that is a gift. That is a gift that our community needs. What does it mean when a girl graduates from Pace Center for Girls? From a logistical and from like a future leverage standpoint, does she have her diploma? Is it at a GED? What is she set up for as a next step?

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Okay. That's um another question I think people don't fully understand. The girls that we serve are between the ages of 11 and 18. So they have to be in the sixth grade because that's the curriculum and the certifications that our teachers have. So if we get a girl that's in the sixth grade, she may only stay with us until seventh grade or eighth grade, or maybe she's in the sixth grade and should be in the eighth grade. So we may work with her and get her into the eighth grade so that she can return to her public school setting for her high school years. So really, we do set a transition plan from the first time we meet that girl based on what she wants, what her academic records are like, what her support team looks like. That may change as we get to know her more. Last year, we walked 22 girls. When you think about the fact that we serve 90 girls, the average age is 14, the average grade is nine. We're about 50% middle school, about 50% high school. To walk that many girls is a lot. Now, back in 2016, we had a girl. And when somebody causes a ruckus that's really upsetting to others, or could be a situation that could go bad, and the staff member says, Can you please go and speak to so-and-so? I think you might need to take and she says, I'm not going anywhere. Well, then we asked everyone else to leave the room. So they called me because she was special to me, like they all are. But they called me, and so I just went and sat down with her, and we just started talking. And she said, I'm she had been in multiple foster care homes. She had an attachment disorder. And once things started going well, she would find a way to sabotage it. And so she never really established any meaningful relationships until she got to us. And she said, I'm I'm gonna be 18. Um I'm about to age out of foster care and um only in the 10th grade. And I was like, This is not a problem. We have transition services, which I can tell you about, but we're gonna help you get enrolled at the GED program here at Penn School State College. And she was like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to leave here. And I was like, What are you doing, Laurie? And I was like, Okay, we're gonna open a GED program. So I got online, I bought some books, and I hired a part-time person. And so in 2016, we've had, I don't think it was 102 girls that would not have finished their high school education, get their GED. So this would not have happened because you have to be 16 to get in the GED program. And most of these girls are still in ninth grade. Now it's hard to have a conversation with them where you go 9, 10, 11, 12. You're gonna be 21. You're not gonna still be in high school. Let's use this plan. I'm not saying it's easy because it's not easy. We have a fantastic team that works with the girls in the GED program, but that's another one of those scenarios where you think about what they need, and then you just have to find a way to make it happen. And this is where I want to say to our community, our center would not be what it is today. And I don't mean in in terms of our beautiful custom-made building and our custom kitchen and our annex and those things.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

But far cry from the building behind University Mall when you started.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

One bathroom, six rooms, dirty carpet, yeah. Yeah. But the community has rallied around us beyond anything I could ever imagine. And I feel like because we are able to communicate real stories and real facts about the changes that have taken place in the girls' lives, they continue to rally around us and support. You can compare the funding that we receive in our Scambia County, Pensacola, Florida, Santa Rosa County, this area is comparable to the funding that they receive in like Fort Lauderdale. Yes. So that tells you about the generosity of the people that we live with. This is an extremely generous community. And I'm very proud to be a part of it and know the people that I have met on this journey because they really have a heart for others. I know personally, so many of the people that support us, and they give because they believe.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

It's more than belief, though. The proof is in the stories.

unknown 31:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Tell me about some of the young women who have gone on to do amazing things.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

Oh gosh. There are very, very many of them. And if you happen to be listening, and I don't mention you, sorry, I still adore you. But I was telling you about a girl that she was my student. I was teaching a pace originally, and she was just if I said it's orange, she said it's green. And maybe we should. And she would say, No, I'm not. And that just made me so excited. I just loved working with her because I was like, I'm gonna get you, girl. And and the way to get her was to say, okay, we're not gonna battle. There's no, oh, all right. And that is the thing with all of them, really, but it's and most importantly, those that have to be right because they will go down to win. So understanding that I need to assert my power and me understanding and our staff understanding, I'm not gonna fight you for it. You can have it. You need it. I want you to have it. So she tells me that all of her friends are either in prison or dead. And she was a little, she was in a gang. And back in that day, you know, 1985 and 86, there were quite a few, what I would say, gangs that recruited our young women. We had several that were involved because it would show up in groups that would have conflict at the center. But she graduated early and she joined the Air Force and just retired from the Air Force a couple of years ago. She wound, we have a picture of her on the wall at the center. She's got three stripes. I wish I could master, I can't remember how what her title was that she got, but it was a good one. And um she's now an entrepreneur. She bought some homes in the Air Force community, small homes, and refurbished them. And she does a Airbnb for the families that come every six weeks for the graduations. And then um also just dabbles with making different products like soaps or greeting cards or but she um I actually just saw her yesterday, and we had a big old love fest about being strong.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

I bet you did. That's amazing. I wanted to ask you what you feel like the magic ingredient is in this program, but I think you've shared it, and I think it's a lot of ingredients together, and I think you're a big part of that. I mean, I totally see that. I absolutely see it.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Well, thank you. I will tell you that I have received multitudes more than I've given. And I feel blessed that I had this opportunity in my life as I'm retiring from pace. I've always felt this way, but in reflection, it's difficult to leave, but just amazing things happen every single day. And if you are looking for them, they don't have to be big. And I think that's life in general. But at pace, yeah, my I've walked past this girl every morning for a month, and I say, Hey Sylvia. She grunts at me. Good morning, Sylvia. She turns her head all the way to the other direction. Well, hi there. So, you know, 30 days later or so I say, Good morning, Sylvia. And she says, Hey, Miss Laurie. Okay, what? I mean, sometimes they're like, Why are you smiling all the time? You know, what they don't understand people accepting them without judgment and with unconditional positive regard. That doesn't mean they don't have to be held accountable for their choices. And I don't mean that through consequences. They need to be able to understand the context of the decision that they made, but never is there a judgment on their personhood. And that is what I think lowers the shoulders and lifts the chin. And I think hope is not easy to distribute, not real, real hope. You know, oh, it's gonna be okay, it'll be fine. That kind of hope. Creating an environment through relationships where hope surfaces and flourishes, that is how we build that hope.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

That's beautiful. And that's something that I feel like we can all do and all remember when we are just there's a takeaway there for every single person. And I think it speaks to the connectedness that we all exist in, that we're blind to when we're on our phones and we're driving and we're late for work and we're we're living our day-to-day to know that we are all connected and these things matter. And I'm so happy that Pace Center for Girls is helping to elevate that connection and to elevate the hope of what that connection can turn into. So thank you for being here and thank you for sharing this. Yeah. If someone wants to donate and be a part of what you're doing, how would they do that?

SPEAKER_00 37:44

We have a website. There's a donate button. Okay. We love to have anyone come and visit the center, kind of see things in action, take a tour, meet some girls, meet some staff. I think often people say when you walk in the door, you can kind of feel that positive energy just kind of thick in the air. That's what we're always hoping for, is just this sense that people belong there. So, yeah, call us, come by, go to our website. We have a Facebook that where we make note of all the cool things that are happening with the girls in the center and celebrations and achievements and upcoming events and people who support us. And we've got a great community engagement manager who takes care of all of that. She's been with us a quite we've got a great staff, period.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Yeah, it sounds like it. Yes, it sounds like it. And thank you for being for being a part of that. And your predecessor has big shoes to fill. So thank you again, Lori. This was fantastic. Thank you. Thanks for listening. Be sure to subscribe and share. Voices United in Education is a production of Scambe County Public Schools.